Firefox and punctuation

Anyone else wonder if the reason this movie is getting so much play on cable these days is that people might think, "Hey, someone made a movie about a Web browser!"?

That sentence leads me to a grammar point. I have trouble with quotation marks because I studied a considerable amount of logic in college, and the rules on quotation marks ain't logical.

Problem 1:

"The comma goes before the quotation mark," he said, realizing that the rule makes no sense from a logical standpoint. The quotation is a complete expression. The comma separates it from a descriptive clause.

Problem 2:

Eric said, "My team will be ready to play Saturday." The comma is grammatically correct and logically unsound. The quotation is the object. Eric said X. Imagine other sentences with an object.

Mark threw the ball.

Not:

Mark threw, the ball.

So take note, English majors. This is why philosophy majors are laughing at you.

"But there are plenty of reasons to laugh at philosophy majors" is a perfectly valid response.