Thursday, October 04, 2007

Hey there -- that's enough

Attention, radio program directors. Please stop playing Hey There Delilah.

Attention, kids under age 20 (we're assuming that the only demographic interested in this song). Please stop downloading Hey There Delilah.

Hey There Delilah
sucks. It is nothing more than the ranting of a drunken frat pledge who picked up an acoustic guitar to play the two chords he knows.

Stumbling upon one earworm hook does not make a song.

Playing an acoustic guitar does not make you a sensitive guy.

A guy who can't come up with any compliments other than "look pretty" and "it's what you do me" is a guy who keeps repeating "Delilah" so he can remember your name when he wakes up in the morning.

If you want to hear understated guitar-based love songs, great. Check out some old Dire Straits. Or the Beatles. Then you'll hear that these guys are way, way off.

So, radio programmers and kids, it's time to demand better. Tell today's musicians to learn how to sing. Learn to play guitar. Spend more than five minutes writing a song. Or you're not going to shell out those 99 cents so he can "pay the bills with his guitar." Unless he plans to sell it, which is a good idea.

Got it? Good. Sorry to dispense the tough love, but something simply has to be done.

6 comments:

Neel Mehta said...

Thank you. Out of sheer magic and quick reflexes, I've managed to avoid listening to the entire song more than once (and that was in a theater lobby, where I was a captive audience).

Seriously, though, not only is "Hey There Delilah" amateur, it's the most boring song on the radio since "One Thing" by Finger Eleven.

Mrs. MMM said...

The worst part is that EVERY station plays it.

Dave Lifton said...

You kids get off my lawn!

Jason said...

Thank you. This song drives me absolutely batshit.

Fuze44 said...

Ahh, your rant made me feel so much better. I refer to songs like this as "Whiner Rock."

Brian said...

I agree that the exposure needs to be cut back (it's getting way overplayed on XM since it can fit on so many stations), but I still like it. I have simple tastes.